We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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