i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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