is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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