i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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