i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
