His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
