i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
