Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
