When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
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Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
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On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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