The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
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I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
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U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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