HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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