new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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