he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
