the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize