Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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