It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
