I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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