My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Life is so much better after having sex.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
