Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
