it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize