i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
