weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Sext me about skeletons
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
