After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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