we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
