Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
