why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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