You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
