He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We had to coat check the pizza.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize