Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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