i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
50% drunk capacity currently
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
