I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
