Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
