he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
