I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
