I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
