you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
