I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
