Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
