return my video game
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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