At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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