i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
