I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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