The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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