Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
