You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
