Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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