Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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