Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
