the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
