i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
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Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
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I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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