I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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