Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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