she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
