We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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