Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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