I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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