highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize