why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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