He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
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He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
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Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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