ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
