I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
