guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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