who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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