I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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