her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I cut my penus on the lid.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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